It's Just a Donut!!!

So, there I was, staring at a pink box of doom. Unaware of my coworkers odd glances my way, I stared that pink box down until my eyes hurt. I turned quickly, accusatory. My eyes spoke "Which of you brought this wickedness upon the office?".

They looked at me like I was crazy and walked away. From the back of the office I heard a faint "Taniya, There's donuts today". Disheartened I slunk over to my desk. I turned my computer on. The flashing light on my phone indicated that I had, like, a billion voice mails, I leaned back pensively. I decided to grab a cup of coffee, I really needed it. "I won't even open the box" I thought to myself as I grabbed the creamer from the fridge. "I won't even look in that direction!" I leaned to grab a straw and that's when I saw it. An Old Fashioned. A Chocolate Old Fashioned. The best donut ever invented was sitting right on top, even though everyone else had already grabbed one. How can this be? Since when are there donuts this early in the week? And since when is there a chocolate old fashioned still there at 9:00AM?!?!

It's simple really. There is only one reason for this anomaly.

Today is a fast.

I am only half kidding with this story because it is a reality. An ugly one. And, let's be honest, donuts are basically deep fried evil. Even under normal circumstances they should be discarded without hesitation. But they're so good...

Note: I began writing this blog a while ago, when I was fasting, but I guess I didn't have the strength to avoid donuts AND write about them. I also did not eat a donut. I know you were thinking I did, but I did not. Also, I write in italics when I'm telling a story, or interrupting myself. I leave that to your discernment. Either way, this was sitting in my drafts and I felt it needed to be finished.

Get this, I once read a quote from some rock star guy referring to our temptations as our true desires, and if that's the case then how can they be wrong (I am paraphrasing here.). He went on to say that he overcame his temptations by is own will power. Wait, what? Didn't he just say....

This idea is obviously a contradiction to itself. Now, I think this guy had it partly right. It wouldn't be a temptation if we didn't want it, but does that make it right? We know the story of fatal attraction all too well. I used donuts as an example and those are bad enough, but there are worse things we can do. Exercising will power when it comes to donuts is one thing, but I need much more than will power to say no to the desires of my flesh. If we are all honest with ourselves, we all do."For he who sows to his flesh will of the flesh reap corruption, but he who sows to the Spirit will of the Spirit reap everlasting life" Galatians 6:8 (NKJV).

What are we sowing in us, Corruption? Or everlasting life? Yes, we have a flesh that wants the unholy, but we have a spirit that yearns for the Holy. The Bible shows clearly that we have a choice, and God is faithful. He hasn't left us alone to ourselves with nothing but our willpower to save us. "No temptation has overtaken you except such as is common to man; but God is faithful, who will not allow you to be tempted beyond what you are able, but with the temptation will also make the way of escape, that you may be able to bear it." 1 Corinthians 10:13 (NKJV)

The way out will always be provided, but will you take it?

Reading Kills.

As I sit at my desk on this lovely, warm May morning, I can see a faint breeze rustling through the green lush of spring, reaching up to the bluest sky of the season. The birds are chirping with new life from above and the air is fresh and free.

I can see it all from the window on the other side of the office....

Okay, that was a little dramatic. The window is only a few feet away. You know what my problem is? Books. And maybe a little bit of Disney, but mainly books.

I don't view the changing seasons as a simple natural cycle, I see the world through romanticism and L.M. Montgomery's eyes. I can hear the swelling sounds of a BBC film when I think about weddings. Men are weighed to the goodness of Austen's Darcy,  F. Wentworth, and Mr. Knightly. I mean, really. They're fake. Nobody can compare to a fictional character.

The truth is, I have done this most of my life unconsciously. I blame this entirely on books. Not to say these books are evil, or wrong to read. But maybe I have been missing the point. The men in these stories married wonderful women. The Witty Eliza Bennett, Forgiving Anne, and the Reformed Emma. Could I have been focused on the wrong characters?

The answer: Yes. Well, maybe not. Wait.. Hold on. I have to think about this.

How many women fantasize over the romance of the century, and wholly expect some dude to sweep her off her feet. Or awaken her from her slumber? What makes us think this poor dude wants to pick us up after we sat around eating ice cream with our favorite Austen? Or wake us up? Let's face it, we all have nasty breath when we wake up. So this guy has to be on steroids or something to heave us out of our helpless state, blind to our dragon like appearance upon awakening, and immune to equally dragon like breath...

Even for me, a single girl, that sounds a little rough on a poor guy.

There is a tiny voice telling me that I should have been spending more time on myself, cause lets face it, I am no Anne Shirley. I don't even know how my hair would look red. Probably terrible. Or amazing. Who knows, that's besides the point. The point is I should have been using those wonderful novels as a way to reflect upon myself.

*Reminder: These books are fake and should not be used as a guide. Repeat ladies. Fake. Not a guide.

What is the guide?

"But seek first the kingdom of God and His righteousness, and all these things shall be added to you" Matthew 6:33 NKJV

The first step is here, and every other step will follow. I see so many young girls in the church make marriage they're sole mission in life, when there is so much more that God has planned for us. Marriage is something we should desire, God created it! But we often forget that marriage is not a destiny, it is the stepping stone to a calling.

I know, we still want that fairytale romance, I wrote this mostly to myself, I am one of the worst offenders. I can recite Pride & Prejudice line for line. I love BBC...*Sigh*. Seriously, Pray for me. Just writing about it makes me wanna go read the books again...

Cause she's the coolest!

All Hands In.

I'm going to lay it on the line and say something a little different today.

Sometimes, I don't feel like writing comical blogs. Sometimes I want to just write about all the horrible things that happen. I know that's not fair because the horrible stuff is everywhere and I need a break from it too. So, I won't. I will write about me. again....

Here we go.

Last week I was witnessing to a cousin of mine and his friend, the conversation turned into a debate. It eventually felt like 2 against 1, and I was losing. And all I could think was, why am I losing? I am the Christian here. I should know the answers to most of these questions. How did I lose dominion so early into this?

I don't exactly remember how it turned into what it did, but I can't stop thinking about it. What I shouldn't have said, what I could have said, why did I get so angry? This person is someone that I desperately want to see saved, and instead of leading the conversation to Christ and the Cross, I got sucked into a whirlpool of "If's"and "Why's".

I am not writing this to be a black cloud, on the contrary. Sitting in Revival last week with Evangelist Scott Snellen and hearing God's word has been an encouragement, and even through this failure, I am reminded that God can use me through my weaknesses for His Glory.

1st Corinthians 2:1-2; "And I, brethren, when I came to you, came not with excellency of speech or of wisdom, declaring unto you the testimony of God. For I determined not to know anything among you, save Jesus Christ, and Him crucified."

God is so faithful that He would use people who have very little talent and so many faults to be the instruments used to bring souls to Him. If only we would allow Him a place in our lives, He could move so much more!

Being saved, I believed for so long, was enough. That, despite my many failures, even as a christian, as long as I did the bare minimum and made Heaven my home, that was all that really mattered. But that is in direct contrast to what God has called me to be. It is disobedience.

Mark 16:15 says: "And He said unto them, Go ye into all the world, and preach the gospel to every creature." 

Clearly, God wants us to do more than read our bibles and pray for the nations. He wants us to go to them. Not just pray for our city, but take it in the name of Jesus! Yet, I find myself arguing philosophy with the people God has called me to reach. Or, I'm not sure which is worse, not saying anything at all. Silenced by fear. Or something else?

 2 Timothy 1:8 "Be not ashamed of the testimony of our Lord..." 

I pray that God gives me the boldness I need to reach the lost. Not just the people I love. The lost on the street. The lost in the grocery store. The teenagers at the mall. Revival is upon us, our cities aching for the cleansing blood of Christ. God is already moving and I don't want to miss any part of it. I want to be able to lay a Crown of Glory at God's feet in praise and worship!

This blog has been a totally serious one and I am not really sure how to finish it....

So, hands in guys.