10:50am
Hello! It has been a while since I officially pulled the plug on my last blog. Only eleven posts ago I began to write, out of sheer boredom, about my daily odd goings-on. It was full of sarcasm, and my mostly sleep deprived and over caffeinated imagination that ran wild. I hope that this future blog will be a bit less frivolous, but just as humorous.
(note: I wear glasses...)
Now, I start this blog knowing full well that blogs are not read anymore. At least not by the general public, and that "Vlogs" are "the way to go". I have no desire to go this route. So, I will set up at my desk and carry on the "old fashioned" ways. There are a number of reasons for this. I don't really feel like going into them so use your imagination. I give you full leave to imagine me as some hideous monster or whatever. Your welcome.
Anyways.. I don't know if you noticed yet, but if you haven't, then look at the date! It's almost CHRIIIISTMAAAAAS!!!! SHABOOYA!
*NOT ME.* (...but i totally get it..)
I love Christmas.Sue me.
No, I mean I reaaaallly love it. I even used to believe in Santa Clause until.....no...it's too painful a memory.....please don't ask...... alright, I'll tell you.
*insert dream sequence music*
**begin flashback mode**
There I was, innocent, child-like, carefree. The beauty of life barely beginning to bloom in my fresh eyes. Blissfully unaware of the pernicious world around me. Living young, wild, and free was the only way I knew. Happiness came easy as a dewy mist on an April morning (<----dramatic imagery).
Even as a child my love for Christmas overflowed. To me it wasn't only about getting a plethora of gifts, though that played a part (<---Check it. Honesty.), it was the shining lights bestowing their glory upon neighborhood after neighborhood, it was being allowed to joyously belt out the carols of old to those around me without any (ahem, loud) complaints. Then there were the excursions, the once every year adventure to find that perfect tree. The tree that would embody all the candied dreams of sugar plums and pudding. And the smell. Aaaah.. the smell of a Christmas pine... the comfort that smell would bring was indescribable. Once decorated, children's beds were oft abandoned and little ones slept near said monument until the very eve of Christmas itself. So many wonderful memories filled with family, food, and forced good behavior etched and wove into our souls like the ads of a December Sunday newspaper.
Now it did not happen on a winter wonderland kind of day, but on a typical northern California afternoon. The sun was gloriously warm and I had been behaving, by my standards (I never got caught) very well in light of the upcoming festivities. So of course I was jubilant of the idea of the sweet Christmas load I would be receiving for Christ's birth (his birth, we get gifts....?) and I wanted everyone to know it.
It is now time for me to make a few introductions. (all names have been changed to protect the "innocent")
First, there was my mother. She as far as mom's go she was, I suppose normal. If you consider telling your children lies about some creepy fat guy, who wears red, enslaves little people, and is always watching you, as normal. Next, there was "Samantha" This is my older sister. To be exact she is five years older than me, she had already patiently tolerated my deluded view of Christmas and "Santa Clause" for a few years. Her best friend "Esmeralda" was only a few months behind her in age (*key character*) and her and her sisters (my best friends) had a mother, my pastor's wife, who told them the real reason for Christmas, and that Mr. Fatty Santy did not exist. I of course had no idea of these circumstances at the time (DUH) and continued my erroneous present chatter, much to the aggravation to all of the non believers in the car (Ev.Ry.One.).
Suddenly, Esmeralda turned candidly towards me, and mid-sentence said;
"you know, Taniya, Santa Clause is not real."
....
I felt my world was spinning. "NOT REAL?" How could that be?!? My thoughts were a mass of questions. Hadn't I always been told that he was real? Why would anyone make up such a person?!?! haha, no, I know she's lying! I took a picture with him, didn't I? He's everywhere, on every street corner...wait, how could that be...maybe there all fake? Maybe he's really DEAD!!
In one sentence, my whole world crashed. And burned. Then exploded. And the ashes were blown away in the wind....
Being to shocked to speak all I could do was, well, cry. I turned my face as much as possible to the window (we were in the backseat of a car. I couldn't run and hide) and pulled my body into fetal position. I could feel the whole world go cold, as though the sun had burned out. "Could I trust anyone?" No. Nature itself was mocking me.
I felt the depths of the blackest sea swirling around me. My breath caught in my throat. Stricken, I knew I was at my limit when suddenly a voice shot through the darkness;
"why are you crying?"
......
"Taniya, why are you crying?!?"
I couldn't speak. My whole body shook in misery. My brain would not form any words. I wanted to scream. I wanted to shout "Did you lie to me? Is my whole life is a lie?" But nothing came. In distress "Esmeralda" muttered;
"I told her Santa Clause isn't real".
You can probably imagine how awkward this situation was. Crying kid, angry mom, I don't really remember for sure but the others were probably snickering, at least, I don't see how they couldn't. The whole situation really is comical. And how can you punish a kid for being honest? You can't. Simple fact is simple fact. I have come to terms with the fact that Santa isn't real, but it truly did break my heart at the time, but over time my scars healed. I'm kidding. It still hurts.
In all seriousness, I would like to say thanks to "Esmeralda". Thank you for breaking my heart so that I would have something to write about in the first entry of this blog. Thank you for opening my eyes to the true reason that Christmas is celebrated, spelled out so clearly in the word itself, is Jesus Christ. Thank you. Also, I don't know why I picked that as your fake name. It's stupid. Your real name is way better.
Well, I hope everyone has a really great Christmas without forgetting the birth of whom we are celebrating, for without His birth, or His death, this dark world would never know the redemptive love of His Salvation. So, say it loud, say it proud, we are celebrating CHRISTmas. Not x-mas. Not just some Holiday.
MERRY CHRISTMAS!!!
p.s. I told you I would be more serious :-D
p.p.s Shout out to my Awesome Heart Breaking Friend "Esmeralda" (you know who you are) for always reading my writings and for finding them entertaining.
*Disclaimer: This story is actually 100% true and not really even exaggerated, and since I wasn't really feeling that creative when I started writing this story was perfect because I didn't need to "embellish".
